It’s current year — and though the contents of this article may age with time, the amount of people that cling on to old and painfully unfunny trends will never die. With this list, I attempt to pry society’s cold, dead grip from the most agonized words of the English language, and in that I plan to show them the only mercy I can permit for such failures of human speech: a swift death… but who am I kidding? Comedy is an acquired taste, and those in pursuit of it can only hope for its sweet flavors to once grace their searching tongues.
OOF Let’s start with a big one. The etymology behind this word in the modern world is interesting. It’s always been an onomatopoeia — a word that describes an otherwise wordless sound — but after its use as a death sound effect in the beloved childhood online multiplayer game Roblox, people have, as expected, memed it to death. It’s most commonly found as a kind of icebreaker whenever someone, usually in the midst of their adolescence, is hit with the sudden seriousness of a heavy conversation topic. You get hit with an “oof” in an attempt on their part to ease the “awkwardness” of the topic, to make it easier for the other person to feel more comfortable and assert their presence. I really shouldn’t have to be the one to say this, but you can do that in other ways. You can do that in more meaningful ways. You can offer support to friends and acquaintances without resorting to a flat “oof” — you shouldn’t shy away from conversation that makes you uncomfortable. You should relish in that uncomfortableness, dissect it, try and ask and understand why it makes you so uncomfortable, and then change that. Better yourself.
I IDENTIFY This next word we should trash and burn and eradicate from the universe isn’t actually a word; it’s a phrase, but used so commonly it counts as a word itself. It’s the Apache attack helicopter “joke.” Whenever something even concerning gender or sex comes up in conversation, you’ll always have — always have — someone say, with a infuriatingly snarky smirk: “Well, I identify as an attack helicopter.” Come on, guys. This is getting old. You can’t defend yourselves with the irony card and then actually believe transgender (this includes other nonbinary-identifying persons, too) don’t deserve rights. That’s not irony. That’s plain old discrimination and, in this case, transphobia. Stop trying to make transgender people into jokes. Dysphoria isn’t — and never will be — funny.
TRIGGERED It’s been a long time since I’ve heard anyone legitimately use it in casual conversation, but let’s review our stance on the word “triggered.” It was a big one back in the height of election days, and some of its essence still lingers in the subconscious of the general population. It’s a word to fall onto when someone has backed you into a corner in an argument or has more knowledge on the topic than you previously assumed — i.e., gosh, why are you making such a big deal about it? What are you, triggered? … I mean, yeah. Who wouldn’t be? If you’re going to start something, don’t get dodgy when someone else decides to fire back. Plus, the usage of the word in that context makes fun of its use in other contexts; someone’s “triggers” are images, sounds, or other senses that provoke bad thoughts or feelings. For example, if someone has had a history of self-harm, the usage of a trigger warning in a movie that depicts graphic situations of self-harm could stop them from a potential panic attack. Using “trigger” as a way to make fun of people who get riled up about something minimizes the struggles of people dealing with mental illnesses. It’s pathetic, really. Some people can’t bring themselves to understand that compassion is the best kind of intellect.
Let’s sum this monster of an article up with my final sentiment: don’t use stupid words past their expiration date. Furthermore, don’t make fun of people you haven’t bothered to try and understand. You’d think communication issues would be largely solved after the invention and popularity of social media, but, in this painfully ironic reality, it’s the opposite. Who would’ve guessed? Now, it’s so easy to hop on a social media thread and broadcast to the whole world what big opinions you hold on such and such without consequence and — for better and for worse — more freedom of expression guarantees more bad expression, just as much as good.